Tsnah's Power Color Is... Lime Green!

At Your Highest: You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary. At Your Lowest: You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in. In Love: You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated. How You're Attractive: Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room. Your Eternal Question: "What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

Life is Short, Why make it even Shorter?

I don't know how to describe my feelings when I read about the death of a 32 y.o. mother with her two kids aged 3 and 6 years old. She committed suicide by hugging her 4 children on a railway track and waited for an oncoming train to hit them. What was she thinking ? Was her marriage problem too bad that taking her own lives and children is the only best solution? It took a great courage to stand in the middle of that railway track and waited for the train to hit her and that courage should had been correctly channel to solve her marriage problem or at least to raise her children well even it meant she had to do it on her own.

My heart goes out to Victoria, the eldest daughter who survived from the episode and is now in trauma and has to live with the dark experience for the rest of her life. Be strong dear.

Hear me rambling about nothing.

It's 4:25pm. I'm not working today and all alone at home with my notebook. I'm enjoying the afternoon's silence when suddenly it is spoiled by the noises of a motorbike making a wheely at the main road beside my house. Tension... feel like going there and baling batu to that guy.

When I'm not working be it week days or weekends, the time I like most is in the afternoon (3pm to 5pm) when most activities are slow and many people are taking afternoon naps. The silence of the time is a therapy to my mind and soul.

As my house is just next to a primary school, on school days like today I can hear students shoutings and callings each others and yet it is sooo calming. It makes me remembering my school days and I miss my kampung life back then..

This morning on the radio, the topic discussed was "Who is the person you will always remember?" . A guy caller said he misses his grandmother . He was raised by his grandma but at that time he felt that his grandma controlled him a lot to an extend he can't even go out and play. Of course back then he felt that there was no freedom for him.

Now that his grandmother had passed away, he misses her a lot and that makes him realize how big was his grandmother love for him.

ps: I hope my kids know how much I love them when I am still alive..not when I have turned into skull ..

Lies After Lies After Lies...

Is there any such thing as true lies or false lies? Anyone knows? For the past 8 months I have been tested by the Almighty . Someone I trusted and confided been lying to me. To the person who lied it was nothing but to the person who was decepted (moi) it is a very heart wrenching life experience. And it is even sadder when I have been receiving titles and labels from the person. I guess I deserve them all. Perhaps I should thank the person for making me realize more of my strengths and weaknesses

moi: it took years to build trust n yet it took a split second to break it.

Donation

What is a donation? A definition I got on the web said donation is "contribution: a voluntary gift (as of money or service or ideas) made to some worthwhile cause". My next question would be, is asking for a specific amount is consider a donation especially when the amount is quite big and we can't afford it?

To me, if specific amount is required and every one must contributes then it should not be called donation or sedekah because the givers will be in an involuntarily situation. In other words there are mild force factors involved. The force factors are the minimum amount and every one must gives.

Some people simply misused the meaning of donation. The term is used just to hide their hidden agenda. Of course donation is much more preferred term compared to Fee or Payment.

My rules of thumb: tiny contribution means BIG if it comes from an open heart. Don't force yourself to "donate" if you can't afford the amount specified. Only gives the amount you sincerely want to contribute.

Pocho-pocho..oo pocot?

Wednesday is my favorite day. What's yours?? Y Wednesday not Friday instead? Well.. Wednesday = Pocho-pocho day from 6pm to 7pm. Yes, I'm into Pocho-pocho for a year now. When I first read about it from a banner hanged by the organizer, it just intrigued me. Sounds funny yet catchy. And just to full-fill my curiousity I gave them a call and walla I'm hooked to it now. I'm an avid follower if I may say so..

To me, pocho-pocho is fun, entertaining and the easiest way to get my body sweating. On top of burning my daily calorie intake (even though not even half of what I had indulged into burnt away *grin*), it also helps in enchancing my dance skills. Yes, that's what I'm saying, it's more like a dancing lesson to me.

At one time I did share my (used to be) secret leisure activity with a colleague of mine. She is a wife to an army doctor.. Little did I know that all army must know pocho-pocho (basic steps they said). My friend said she and her husband was publicly scolded by her hubby's high rank officer at one of the army functions they attended just because they did not know how to pocho-pocho that day. Then, I heard from my other colleague that pocho-pocho is famous among royalties in northen states (She is from Alor Setar). Later she told me that during her son's graduation day last year (this is in Kuantan tho..) which was attended by royalties (because the kindergarten she attended was founded by one of the royalties)...the VVIPs did pocho-pocho.. Ohhh.. now, I'm flattered, I'm learning the 'tarian istana' is that it?? Nayy . It just happened they love pocho-pocho too. Recently, I heard one of the DJs in my favourite Radio Channel..talking about pocho-pocho and she is into it too.. What about you?

This week, my favorite day has gone by. It was a very exciting day yesterday as I learned new steps..which we called Siamese steps..Fullof gelek2 and lentik2 tangan gitu..hahaha.

Today, is gonna be my 2nd Yoga lesson.. So far so good.. I'm learning the basic..called KLT - Knee Leg and Toe.. On the first day.. my whole body ached when I came back home..Hopefully, today things will not get worse.. (that is if I can make it to the class...50/50 coz my HD is yet to be back in town) from his short trip to Rompin.

In or Out

Here is the situation. I like the company but I don't like the job scope. I think I'm a victim of circumstances. Y ? I'm doing SALES!!.. yes, yes, yes I am a sale woman or professionally called a sales executive. Yikess!! how I hate that title and yet I am still attached to it.

Never in my early working years did I ever dreamt or thought of becoming a sales exec. It all happened when my other half decided to changed job and moved to this town. I was happy for him and still am but never thought I would feel this miserable now.

The company I work with (from now on is referred as C) was opening a new branch at the time my beloved other half (from now on is referred as HD) got this new offer from a multi-national company. So, without much thinking I applied for transfer to this new branch submitting my resume for supervisory role..basically managing the overall branch operations. Yes I got what applied for. Things were quite interesting for first 2 years.. I got to learn new things (opex, inventory, customer service, customers, prospects ..amongts several new terms I explored) . I was in R&D previously (Internet, SSL, crytography etc).

However, gradually my job scopes changed from managing branch to managing customer accounts and thus doing sales.. What???? Now, I'm trapped. I'm in mid-thirties, does not like my current job but there is not many suitable vacancies for me here . Should I quit?? But hey I need the $$$$. HD deary has been asking me to resign and be a full time wifey. The offer by HD deary is very much tempting and I would love to always be there for my kids. Be their chaffeur to school and KAFA, cook for their lunch meals, guide them with their school works and many many more things that I could do with them. But, I'm worried about the future. What if ...and with me without a job how can I fend for my 4 kids?? And for that very reason, I'm stuck with my current job despite my miserable feelings.